The here and now sees us plagued with new questions, new ideas, and new people. That's why I, Nicolas Cage, am here to save the day. "But Cage," you cry, like the nameless commoner you are, "how can you, a lone celebrity, save a whole day?" Well, I answer, confident and unabashed, I, Nicolas Cage, promise to bring in a new era of celebrity-level enlightenment for all, free from the deceits and schemes of the lower-classes. I will hit the refresh button on the browser of the first-world, and usher in a new era of goodness, honesty, and faith in democracy. That, from my heart to your screens, is the Cage-guarantee.
Love, Nicky C. xoxo